


And I Feel Fine

by bell (bellaboo)



Category: Clamp Gakuen Tanteidan | Clamp School Detectives
Genre: M/M, Obliviousness, Unrequited, X References
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-27
Updated: 2015-12-27
Packaged: 2018-05-09 18:52:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,152
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5551442
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bellaboo/pseuds/bell
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Nokoru?"</p>
<p>"Yeah?"</p>
<p>"May I ask a question?"</p>
<p>"Shoot."</p>
<p>"Are you actually drunk?"</p>
            </blockquote>





	And I Feel Fine

**Author's Note:**

> Birthday fic for nyonyo! Beta'ed by startredder.

"My one strength," Nokoru had mused once, "aside from my beauty, charisma, leadership qualities, political influence, and slight family fortune, is my intelligence." Above everything else Nokoru cherished his brain; he would never do anything to harm it, even temporarily.

So that's why, despite the two empty bottles of wine on the floor and the half-empty one on the table, Suoh refused to believe Nokoru was drunk. He couldn't be. He wouldn't do that. "Good evening, sir." Suoh greeted, a little out of breath. He had ran all the way to Nokoru's office. He scanned the room for any potential dangers; there were no human presences, no furniture out of place, nothing out of place. Just the kaichou sitting in his chair with a few oddly-placed bottles of wine. 

Suoh wondered what the hell he was doing here. 

Nokoru giggled. "G'evening, Suoh. Forget the "sir" bullshit, I hate that formality."

Nokoru was putting on an excellent act of being drunk. "I was under the impression, sir, that you purposefully sought out positions that elevated your title. That you got a kick out of people calling you those names, the more ridiculous the better."

"Sure, yeah, with OTHER people. Not with you. And Akira. Call me Nokoru."

"If you insist, s-- Nokoru."

"Good, good." Nokoru laughed again. "Have a drink, Suoh. Be merry with me."

"Is this what you called me here for?"

Nokoru blinked at him. "Is it wrong to want to spend an evening with my friend?"

"It's a Wednesday night. I have classes tomorrow morning (as do you, but it's not as if you ever attend them) not to mention student council responsibilities to deal with afterwards. I work best with some sleep, however slight. Your calling me in at 2:37am, insisting that I come at once for, and I quote you, "an emergency!!," greatly diffilcates my tomorrow."

Despite this dressing-down Nokoru was smiling widely. "I am so glad that some things don't change."

"Is there anything you require of me?"

"Just your company. Stay with me a while. Have a drink."

Suoh debated pounding sense into Nokoru's head. But if so many years hadn't improved his sense thus far, would another couple of minutes? "...I'll go fetch a glass."

A glass or two of some complicated French-named wine later, Nokoru was putting on a better act of drunkenness than ever before. Suoh was as clear headed as ever. He'd trained his alcohol tolerance over the years. It would take a night's worth of drinks to start being effected.

"What do you know about the end of the world, Suoh?"

"Excuse me?"

"End of world. Destruction. Doomsday. World kabloom. What do you know?"

"Um, there is one theory about the sun expanding-"

"Yes, in another five billion years when it becomes a giant star. Anything else?"

"Melting of polar ice-caps due to global warming, human pollution destroying the environment..."

"All of which requires time. Decades, centuries. Isn't that a nice thought? The end of the world is going to happen later. We won't have to deal with it. It won't affect us." Nokoru laughs again, and this time it sends shivers Suoh's spine. "Guess what I learned today."

"That the world is ending?"

"Close. That the world will be destroyed. In a year's time. By a boy." Nokoru laughs hysterically now. "I bet you don't believe me."

"No." Nokoru, surprised, stops laughing and looks at him. "If you say it's so, I believe you. The world will end in a year."

"Doesn't that upset you?"

"I think it will, once it sinks in."

"Don't let it sink too much. I exaggerated. The world won't be destroyed. Necessarily. Its-- and humanity's-- fate will be created by fourteen chosen ones. Though the decision actually lies on the shoulder of one boy. A sixteen-year old boy. You know, my greatest dream at sixteen was to be prime minister of Japan by the time I was fifty. Didn't want to be an old prime minister, that's disgraceful." 

"One project you might have to put off."

"One, yes." Nokoru sighs. "Whatever the boy decides, we have to support-- it's a long story, Suoh. The short of it is, the Clamp Campus will play a key role in saving humanity. We can make a difference. We have to help them."

"I thought you said the boy was going to do decide it all. What can we do to help?"

"Be fate's gears, I guess, help move things along smoothly. There are details, I'll show 'em to you later."

"This isn't... quite what I expected to be doing when I got involved in the school's administration."

"Or me. I was hoping for more women." 

"You can't complain about the lack of women, there's been one or two per week coming around for help for the past ten years."

"There's never a lack of women in need of help."

"There's never a lack of people needing help, period."

"Yeah."

"Nokoru?"

"Yeah?"

"May I ask a question?"

"Shoot."

"Are you actually drunk?"

Nokoru laughs again; it is a long, deliberate laugh, and he has to lay his forehead against the table. "Yes. Yes, I do think I am. It's not so bad."

"I suppose that the end of the world is about as good a reason as any." As if to demonstrate his solidarity, Suoh took another long swig of wine. Wine wasn't meant to be guzzled, but damnit, these times called for desperate measures.

"That's not why I got drunk, though."

"Huh." 

"Don't you want to know why?"

"Knowing you, probably not. It is probably for some devious act that will anticipate the heart attack you will eventually give me. I'd rather you not make me participate in this set of shenanigans."

Nokoru smiles wanly. "I'm not drunk enough, anyway. Go home, Suoh."

"Are you sure?"

"Quite. I'm predicting that I'll pass out within the next fifteen minutes, and for all my charm, I'm dreadfully boring when unconscious."

"Promise not to choke and die on your own bile?"

"Urgh, so morbid, Suoh. And gross."

"Remember to sleep facing down. Drink plenty of water, it will lessen your hangover tomorrow."

"Suoh, why are you being practical? The world is ending."

"Not tomorrow, it isn't. ...You're not going to budge from that desk, are you. Wait a second." Suoh leaves the room, comes back shortly afterwards with a pitcher of water. "You need to stay hydrated." He pours Nokoru a glass of water, crosses his arms. "I'm not leaving until you drink that."

"That's not a bribe. I enjoy your company."

"Drink."

With a sigh, Nokoru drained the glass of water, then the next one Suoh poured him. "Satisfied?"

"Immensely. Though you might want to drink some more for your own good. And remember: face down while sleeping."

"Fuddy-dud."

“Good night, kaichou.”

“Nokoru,” Nokoru mumbles, into the crook of his arm where his face is buried. “Call me Nokoru.”


End file.
